23 March 2010

Response to a Nigerian Scam Spammer

Hello. My name is Sarra Lamine, i am 21yrs, single, open minded, good looking, sincere, and looking for an honest, loyal, sincere, and Godly minded person which i will like to go into a business relationship with. I will explain better to you if you can contact me. I will be waiting to read back from you as soon as you receive this my mail. Thanks and God bless you.

Sarra Lamine

Hi Sarra:

If you are--as you claim--a ripe young female who is single and "good looking", why are you advertising for a partner? Anything you could conceivably want will all be given to you by a human male of virtually any age, race or social standing, in trade for the privilege of just being allowed to hang around a cute young girl who seems like she might have sex with him at some point.

In any event--although I have no idea why--you chose to write to me about this: so I will have to assume that for whatever strange reason, you thought I'd want to hear from you, and see you, and do business with you. I'd really like to know who gave you that impression. Still, in case there comes a day when I get so stoned that I lose all track of reality and thus change my mind about you, I'll need you to answer a few questions before this can progress any further.

Primarily, one question, actually. When you say you seek a "Godly minded" person, can you please elabourate? What if I worship a different God from the one that gets talked about in the Bible? You have to understand that I do not like that God. In fact, I find that God absolutely repugnant. He's really mean, cruel and vengeful, and even admits he is a "jealous" God. In fact, it's possible that the God of the Bible might even be pure evil. After all...didn't he supposedly create Satan in the first place?

Though the Christians and Jews try to keep this a secret, there's actually more than just one God. The God I subscribe to has not declared that it's a sin to have sexual intercourse with someone who I'm not married to, which of course is the major contention issue with the "incumbent" God. Surely you're aware of how Christian preachers and priests and evangelists spend about 90% of their time talking about how evil "fornicators" are supposed to be. Why? Unless it's rape, fornication isn't something that gets done as a hate crime. It's done solely for feeling and sharing pleasure--and it's mostly pleasures of the senses that tend to get called evil by Christians, even though their God supposedly created all those senses--and the ability to feel pleasure through them--to begin with. Even though Jesus wasn't one to preach about that subject himself: his admonitions were against the Pharisees, who were basically the "Religious Right" of his time. But even Jesus had "dad issues"...ya think?

So I went looking for another God that made more sense and didn't seem to have such nasty habits, and I found one. His name is Choronzon. I'd tell you more about him, but you probably wouldn't understand so I'll skip it. He's not really looking for followers anyway; he just takes them when they come to him: being, as he is, very easy-going about that whole process. Which happens to be one of the many qualities that I look for in a God.

Most Christians are very upset, and in an "all the time" way, about the things that total strangers are doing with each other in bed. But they don't seem to be bothered all that much by war...even though that's always involved people breaking one of their God's actual Ten Commandments, and fornication does not. To "fornicate" is simply to engage in sexual intercourse with a person other than the one man or woman that it's supposed to be okay to do that with, owing to that person's legally-recognised status as one's "spouse". The only sexual act forbidden by the Ten Commandments is adultery, which is having sexual intercourse with someone else's spouse, or - if one is already married - doing it with a person besides the designated spouse. But when people who aren't married are having sex with other unmarried persons, that's not "adultery".

But sex in general is what Christians are always, constantly, continuously complaining about, over and over again: grumbling about how sexual immorality is rampant, yelling about it corrupting children and being a sign of the coming Apocalypse. And when confronted with Gnostic gospels suggesting Christ himself had a female partner in the non-chaste sense, they stamp "heresy" on it and act as though the discussion is over.

Oh, Christ. That reminds me: my God also didn't allow his "only begotten Son" to become a ritual sacrifice to grant salvation to his "chosen people" as their Messiah.

Frankly, I have always been a bit unclear on the specifics of that whole exchange deal involving Jesus...that salvation thing that's the core of the whole Christian experience. Exactly who - or what - was it that Jesus paid his "precious blood" and his life to in trade for what gets billed as some sort of ticket to Heaven that you can redeem when you die, provided you're one of the "saved" people? Exactly what does being "saved" mean, anyway? What is it that "saved" people are being saved for? Doesn't the whole concept of Heaven seem a little too good to be true sometimes? Given the biblical God's track record of wrathfulness, vengeance-prone temper tantrums and his penchant for cruelty, wouldn't it seem prudent to be a bit leery of the promises this God makes about "New Jerusalem"?

Fortunately, Yahweh or Jehovah or YHVH--or whatever else he likes being called when speaking off the record--is not the God-monopoly he professes himself to be. I really do have a choice. A person can "play the God field" 'til they find a Higher Power who expresses a modicum of respect and goodwill for sentient creation and the world it lives on, and in. The God I found might not end up being the God for you. In fact, I am pretty certain my God wouldn't do for you at all. But you'll surely find one that will.

And good luck in finding that Godly mark you seek--er, sorry. I meant "business partner". In fact, there must be at least 419 people waiting in line to do business with you.

Mine truly,
Demimonde Mesila Thraam, Messquire.